Today’s Post #1

loveI have so much stuff swirling around in my head today that I’ve experinced difficulty narrowing it down enough to write this post. I wrote out a long post and realized it seemed to have two distinct and somewhat unrelated parts, so I decided to do two posts today. Since I couldn’t come up with a fitting title for this one, it’s just going to be Post #1.

As most of you know, I’ve been a single mom for most of the last 19 years. Before long, Sam will be off living his own life, as he should, and I will be left alone. I’ve often searched and asked God for someone to love me the way I love, which is with my whole being. I was thinking about that this morning, and during the worship service, I felt like God was saying to me, “I already love you that way.” I had to admit to Him that He was right, and I asked Him to help me be content with His love. I don’t know the name of the song that was being sung then, but it seemed that it was echoing those words…not the exact same words, but the same message. As I read the words of the song on the screen, tears started falling, and I knew God was speaking right to ME.

This church I’m going to is different than any other church I’ve gone to, and way, way different than the kind of church I grew up in. I was very skeptical about it at first, and I only went because a friend of mine had asked me several times. A couple weeks ago, I admitted to her that I really don’t like the music. I don’t think it’s wrong, necessarily, but it’s just not my style, especially for church. Then, today, God used that music to speak to me in a very profound way.

The past several weeks that I have attended Discovery Church have taught me a lot — about myself, about church, about God. I’ve learned that I had become stuck in a routine and that going to church had become a chore, a duty that I had to perform. I’ve learned that the purpose of the church is to equip God’s people to do God’s work, rather than simply a place to go every week to see your friends and feel smug about yourself as you drive away. I’ve learned that although God accepts us where we are, He doesn’t intend for us to stay there; and that when we’re open and listening, He can speak to us, even in a YMCA gymnasium or through music that isn’t our style.

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